47 Life Lessons (mine)
"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I recently celebrated 47 years on planet Earth. Here is what I have learned so far from my lived experience. What I have learned that has stuck with me the most is that I still have so much more to learn. I have to surrender on a daily basis to the currents of life because the only thing I am really in full control of is how I respond and react to what life has to offer. At one point in time we are all forced to realize that:
Mama always said life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." ~Forrest Gump
47 Life Lessons (mine)
1) Dreams die and new ones are reborn in their place
2) Nothing is as it seems
3) Fear is real. Fear is a part of life. It moves through us when we stop resisting the fear of the unknown
4) Sexual Trauma changed me forever as a little girl, teenager, woman and mother
5) I never got to be a a child and that makes me angry, but I am learning to forgive everyone involved including myself
6) I love to write is it my gift born from broken things from my youth
7) I love spa days and long hot baths because that is when a thousand thoughts flow through me so I can re-frame my life's purpose and settle in my own soul-skin of awareness
8) I hate liars more than dog poop on my shoes, dirty feet, and melted ice cream
9) People will always let me down but GOD won't
10) I feel poor and hopeless over finances and wrestle with mental poverty because the adults in my life never taught me about financial responsibility. So, I must learn the hard way (whatever)
11) I have a great credit score despite my circumstances, but it will never be good enough for "the corrupt corporations of big business" and I have to constantly encourage myself to look at the brighter side of things because I am doing a great job as a single parent despite the number over my head which is almost 700 (bastards)
12) Again, things are never what they seem
13) I cherish my sobriety and will never let anyone take it from me because my emotional scars from hitting rock bottom keep it all very real
14) I love cupcakes and chocolate and will always celebrate my birthday with them-always
15) I despise people who look down on restaurant servers as low class humans!
16) Nobody really likes to be alone "long term" despite what they say
17) I am an Ambivert-- 1/2 introvert & 1/2 extrovert
18) Friends are the fabric of life-sometimes they hold strong and sometimes the wear thin and break...either way I will always be okay
19) I have awesome brothers and I love them deeply
20) I love traveling and I long to travel more ASAP with and without my duaghters
21) I secretly want to be Samantha Brown on The Travel Channel-I will beg for her job one day
22) I love my girls more than words can express-they give me life
23) My girls annoy me and stress me out beyond belief and I am grateful for it, it keeps life real
24) I love talking to people in airports because I gain more empathy for the lives of others
25) I am WAY stronger than I think
26) The SlimFast Transformation was an epic self-realization on how I self-sabotage
27) I really do love books. I want to finish one and publish it before I die and it looks like it is all up to me to do it. Thank GOD for self-publishing even though anyone can do it.
28) I am a procrastinator despite telling myself that I am not
29) Nobody does what they say unless it is self-motivated for personal gain
30) I thought I would be further along in life than I am at 47 but I AM A GREAT MOM and that makes where I am just perfect because I have unlimited TIME with my girls and that is the most magnanimous gift of my living my life-I must remember this when I get frustrated and discouraged
31) Reality really does blows sometimes and shit happens, and I have learned to let it all go because this too shall pass (cheesy but true)
32) Mean people really do suck
33) I love the fast paced NYC lifestyle and the subway. I would move for the summer if I could afford it.......
34) I will NEVER marry for money or to ease my burden of life like many women do-it makes me sick to watch them like my mother did husband after husband, but live and let live is a real thing
35) I am overly critical when I look in the mirror
36) I am very judgmental when I compare my life to "status" so I have to remind myself to "just do me"
37) I am still angry at my mom when I experience MY life as the mom I AM! I work on forgiving her daily for my spiritual well-being (I will arrive @peace one day)
38) I really want to be a full time writer with 10 published books. Yeah, this is DREAM I am working on in-between 1000 other things that life throws my way
39) Single parenting life is the hardest job I have ever had, but I am good at it
40) I never wanted to be part of the Childhood Sexual Abuse Club, but I will do everything I can to be a member who inspires others through awareness and radical self-love
41) Most people only care about themselves
42) Revenge is wasted time and emotionally destructive
43) Living SOBER is the most awesome MIRACLE--ever!
44) I love the stories Joel Osteen tells about how people triumph over life's adversities-it keeps me going through hardships. I especially like the one about the kitten dropping out of the air after the little girl got on her knees in the backyard praying to GOD for a kitten (much more to the story)
45) I NO longer care what people think about me (at least that is what I tell myself)
46) I've learned that I am a very powerful outspoken woman and some people are intimated and won't ever like me because of it and I am okay with that
47) I am an advocate for the voiceless because I love to see people smile and feel good about who they can become after adversity AND that the song of hope can be sung in their own hearts so they too can pay it all forward and do their part to make this world a better place
48) Bonus for the next year in progress--I dislike the saying "Time takes Time" but it is very true. Patience is a virtue and it comes slowly for me. This too I will master, one day.
Well, that was an unexpected post. Truth shall set us free and living my life out loud is the most real form of radical self-acceptance I can express in written words. I love writing! It is my passion. I just wish someone could help me get to the next level with it. I will never lose hope and I will never quit or give up on my dreams-all 6798 of them!
I could go on forever and ever about lessons.....
Rebecca-a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve while honeslty fumbling towards tomorrow and whatever comes next