“Being a working mom is not easy. You have to be willing to screw up at every level.” ~Jami Gertz
NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN OR MOON Mothers and writers are not a new concept in modern living, but for me, it is two dreams colliding in one lifetime that needs to find balance. Since the beginning of time there has been the light of day and the dark of night. I watch the sun rise and set each day. I watch the moon as it waxes and wanes over the course of its cycle. I watch the flowers open with the dawn and close after twilight. Some of the flowers bloom at dusk to greet the stars and some of them curl up under the stars. As I watch these wonders of nature, I am reminded of the ebb and flow of my own evolution as a mother and a soulful writer. Everyday life transforms before my eyes, whether I like it or not. The earth spins on its axis, time moves on, and I continue to grow in all areas of my life. No matter how I feel, this process continually repeats itself into days, weeks, months, years and seasons. The process of evolving in both of these worlds does not stop whether I am in harmony or resistance, happy or sad, in love or in fear, life will always move forward and I will become more skilled in the two parts that make the whole of what I do. BALANCING TWO PARTS OF ME I thoroughly enjoy being a mom to my two girls and a writer that spends hours at a time to share words that help others feel inspired to do more with their own talents. Speaking my truth and sharing the story of my experiences connects me to the same elements that pull the sun from its slumber, moves the moon in the night sky and opens flowers that resemble the blossoming of my soul’s true calling. Writing and being a fully engaged mother of two teenage girls is a very interesting balancing act. Sometimes, my worlds collide and it is not pretty. I have to be willing to be fully present where I am needed the most without jeopardizing my gift and the responsibility of being a mom. Learning from my past mistakes, I have found that setting clear boundaries can protect myself, and my girls, from becoming frustrated or overwhelmed by deadlines and small, but impressive, emotional upsets. Decoded, this means that the girls can become my inspiration, but may also interfere with constant streams of thought which is required when I am deep into the flow of writing. As with all things, I am learning as I go and have learned to let go of perfectionism as a survival tool so that we can all live in harmony with the muse and the realities of life. I love being in the moment with my girls in a state of awe and wonder. This keeps me open to growth as I often show the vulnerabilities of being a single mom, but in that vulnerability there is a youthful spark that lights our hearts while being present for each other. In them, I see the reflection of the mother I always wanted by my side. I am honored to be sober, awake, and aware as I tune into their soul’s journey. This awareness provides me with the opportunity to show them how the Universe can guide them to their soul’s star of wisdom without my past, or my own fears, derailing their deepest desires. Having a parent who encourages this shift in consciousness expands the courage that is needed for them to follow the voice of their own soul for a happy life. EVOLVING IN HARMONY Writers write, no matter what, they must write! My blissful zone of creation is a force field of peaceful energy often interrupted by the echos of, “Mom” from the distance, but in this space, the essence of what I desire to say does not retreat or get lost in translation. Balancing the two, the mother and the muse, is the most challenging aspect of who I am as a person, yet I have no desire to be anything else. I must be both. I must never stop doing what makes me truly happy because on day writing will be the thing that fills the days when they are off living the life that they have chosen for themselves. In the life of a writing mom, the writer and the mom must stay in harmony with the the delicate balance of being and doing. The muse calls, I go quickly to her side. My girls call and I go quickly to their side. When life calls I go wherever it takes me and hopefully it is traveling the world writing my way into new adventures as both, a writer and a mom because one day I will be more of a writer as mom will be less needed due to the evolution of my girls.
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” ~Henry David Thoreau