I AM a MOM and I (Kindly) Take No Shit!
Our children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate. ~Unknown
These two girls are my most valuable jewels of love, inspiration, joy, wisdom, knowledge, guidance, and the true beauty of everything that is right in my life today. They are older now, 12 and 14, but this photo was taken when my soul was introducing me to the voice that waited so long to be free. My song was queuing and the rhythm was gently soothing the little girl inside of me to come out to play. I had not hit my bottom yet nor was I able, at that time, to identify the source of my angst and soul sickness, but the solution was on its way and what a blessing it would turn out to be.
Once upon a time, I was unable to stand up for myself. Even when I had my own little girls I, in times of stress or conflict, was unable to stand up for them because of my intense insecurities, deep inner struggles, and maddening fears. After I was silenced in the most horrific way as a young victim of sexual abuse, I didn't know that I had a choice. All I knew is that I was full of shame with no face or voice. I had no idea that the most magnanimous inner light and limitless power would emerge from deep within my heart and become the essence of who I AM!
Before I engaged in the day where the main focus was on conflict, I fell to my knees and asked God, "How the heck do I do this?" And what happened next was that I was able to pause, pray, evaluate the opponents and ask for help in processing what the next right step would be in handling the sensitive and frustrating topic of middle school bullying, both face to face and through social media.
While I was preparing to stand up to be an advocate for my youngest daughter Marley, my fears were being pushed to the center stage of my inner drama. It took everything in me to be brave enough to push myself beyond Mama bear anger and into the state of serenity where the peaceful solution was waiting. Because of the courage and spiritual wisdom I gained through adversity and pain, I was able to not only stand up for her, but I was able to finally stand up for the little girl inside of me that was looked over, pushed aside, and cast away on the island of alienation and denial.
Both of my daughters watched every move I made, heard every word I spoke, and witnessed every interaction with those who were the source of aggravation, pain and sadness for Marley. Not once did I have to belittle, degrade, humiliate, verbally assassinate, strong arm, or defile someone else to get the results that I (we) desired. Imagine that!
The gift of sobriety and spiritual growth is that, I no longer have to blow someone else's candle out to make mine burn brighter. All I needed to do was to connect more intimately with the woman I've become. This allowed me to tap into the raw power of who I AM; and that is a mother of honor, truth, dignity, true beauty, and an inner strength that moves mountains and settles even the most ferocious beast; my untamed fear.
So to all the mean people, haters, sour pusses, bullies (big and small) and those who just want to bring others down, I will pray for you and hope that the light awareness blinds the sadness in your soul and turns on the light of LOVE! The most valuable lesson I learned in standing up for my daughter, and myself, is that it doesn't have to be a "bad" experience. It can be a lesson where all parities involved have the opportunity for spiritual growth. It's not up to me whether or not they see the value of effective communication, or take away their own gifts for the exchange of energy, or to see the blessings in amending behaviors. What is up to me, and what I find to be the most important lesson, is how I responded to adversity while my two lovely young ladies watched how I handled myself and treated everyone involved, regardless of how I truly felt about them.
My friends this blog post is the result of what I learned. I AM a kick ass mom who has gained a head full of wisdom and a full heart of self-love that nobody can destroy or take away. I successfully constructed and executed a plan of action that worked. And the miracle is this-- anything can happen if I stay focused on being of service to everyone, including myself, my girls, and those who I come in daily contact with, even the jerks!
"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends." ~Dumbledore Harry Potter